Why I Started The Bator Life

So, as well as being an erotic author, I’m a proud ‘bator’. Not just a guy who wanks, but a guy who identifies with masturbation being a big part of his sexual identity. We’re out there. So here’s my blog dedicated to that. As well as this blog there’s a podcast for it as well. Go ahead and subscribe to that too if you like. The link is at the bottom of this article.

So, here’s a bit of an introduction into me as a bator. My bator life so far. 

I’ve been masturbating since the age of 12, coming up on a quarter of a century ago. Wow. I’ve always been a regular wanker. Multiple times a day in my teens and now multiple times a week as an adult (damn the responsibilities of adulthood). For me it really is my preferred sexual activity. I will happily wank any time, any day. Sexual intercourse takes a little more effort for me to get up and about for (metaphorically speaking, there’s no issues with the ‘up’ bit for me yet). 

With bating as my favourite activity I’ve always felt a little on the outer. As a guy with a lot of guy friends the subject of sex comes up often. These are conversations I find it hard to join in on. Not because of lack of experience, but moreso out of lack of interest. I really don’t get into comparing partnered sexual experiences like I do comparing the solo versions. I could sit and chat with mates for hours about where, when and how they’ve wanked. But when a couple of guys talk about their various activities with partners I’m not so keen. 

So that’s one reason why I started the podcast, to continue and grow the conversation. I’ve done this also in online chatrooms for the last 15 or so years. It’s been a great way to connect with other guys who are happy to chat about their bating experiences. However, I’ve found these online chatrooms to be pretty full of ‘fantasy’ more and more the stories the guys come out with are less and less believable and it’s really the real conversations that I want to have. So I started a facebook group for bators and over the last 8 months its been around it’s already got close to 500 members. Not bad for a little secret group about a pretty secret topic. That group is much more ‘real’. Genuine guys having genuine conversations about their solo activities. I’ll do an episode about the facebook group soon and include an invitation there. The podcast is the next step up from that, a further extension of the real conversation and a way to, hopefully, reach more and more guys who are all about the bator life. 

Along the road I’ve tried to have conversations with my friends in real life about their masturbation habits and activities. I’ve not got a couple of mates who I can be honest with about my activities, which is great. For example, I was doing something with a friend the other night, working on a joint project and he said ‘should we wrap things up soon. Do you have a date with your left hand?’ Now I won’t take points off him cos he doesn’t know which hand I wank with but I’ll give him plenty of kudos for understanding and being open enough that that’s something we can talk about. He knows I want the time to do the deed just like if I was at his place I’d know the time to head off so he can do his xbox-related evening wind down. 

So another reason for the podcast is to put it out there as an open topic, for conversation, for discussion, and for debate. 

For the most part, however, when I’ve attempted to open the topic up to friends, it’s been kind of shut down. It’s been clear that guys either don’t want to talk about it or that masturbation doesn’t fill a big enough part of their life to be worthy of conversation. 

On some occasions, there have been mates that have been surprised by the time I spend solo. And when they haven’t shut down the topic they’ve admitted they wank regularly but they’re more on the quick release side of things. I see this as my opportunity to start to educate them. I’ve told quite a few guys about the wonders of the fleshlight, or the enhanced pleasure of edging (some didn’t even know what edging was). I’ve explained to them that wanking is my safe space, my ‘me time’ and number one on my ‘self care’ regime. Following these conversations they have a bit more of an understanding about the possibilities of wanking and start to think that maybe there’s more to it than the hurried tug.

So that’s the third reason for the podcast. Maybe some guys will find this because they’re starting to realise the fun they can have solo. They might be realising that masturbation isn’t just an activity to achieve a quick orgasm. It’s something that you can enjoy and so might be seeking out ways and guidance to help them make the most of it. 

So with those three reasons behind this that’s how the blog and podcast has come to be. I’d love to hear from anyone out there about which reason they’re getting behind. What made you find the podcast or the blog? Hit me up on the socials and let me know, the links and handles are at the top of the site. 

Thanks for reading and happy bating. 


  1. […] Check out the first blog to get an idea of why I’ve started The Bator Life podcast and blog here. […]

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