Edging is a pretty common term in the bator community. Actually, there are plenty of people outside the bator community who have heard of the term or might use it. We’ve talked about in on plenty of episodes of the podcast but in this article I’ll take a bit of a deeper dive into it. What it is, the reasons people do it and the benefits of it. I’ll also throw in a couple of tips towards the end.
What Is Edging?
For those that don’t know, in this context edging means going to the brink of orgasm and then pulling back. Taking yourself to the edge of climax but stopping short. The delay in orgasm allows you both to extend the session of pleasure but in many cases also builds up the orgasm with each repetition.
On Urban Dictionary (the first stop for most slang sexual terms) edging also refers to a couple other things. It’s defined as taking your online shopping order almost to completion, a technique people use to gain shipping information or in the hopes an online store will give them a discount for an unpurchased shopping cart. It also said it can be used to mean teasing a person almost to the brink of blowing up before backing off. I guess this one is pretty close to the sexual meaning as well.
It’s something that’s often done in partnered sexual encounters as well as solo ones. But the term is much more commonly used when referring to the bator technique than the partnered. And I’m sure most of you who have listened to the podcast or read the blog will have experienced it in one way or another. Some guys do it intentionally and regularly as a part of their bating technique. Some do it more accidentally, or they do it without realising it’s a ‘thing’.
How I Started Edging
I discovered edging by accident. As I’ve mentioned in previous episodes and blogs I discovered online chatroom in my late teens. I was a regular wanker all through my teens but those chat rooms changed things. With more and more inspiration at my fingertips my sessions got longer and longer. What made these sessions into what I now know as edging sessions were the pauses I would take to type the replies to my messages. I was never a one-handed typist in those situations. I’d stroke, then type, then stroke then type. I would get closer to orgasm step by step until those strokes between typing would have to get more and more tentative as I approached orgasm. A couple of years later I discovered the term edging and a couple of things clicked into place.
Why Do People Edge?
Increased Orgasm Intensity
According to sex and relationships coach Keeley Rankin “When you take your time and build up to that orgasm, it shows up stronger and lasts longer in the body.” If you ask any bator then they’ll tell you that this is 100% true. By delaying the release and teasing yourself by getting close to orgasm the final release is far more satisfying. There are a number of techniques to delay that orgasm which I’ll go into shortly.
Prolonging your solo session gives you the opportunity for more time with your body. Many edgers use body parts other than their penises during a long edging session. Without getting too much into the gooning territory, which is a separate topic for the future, the art of engaging more of your body in a session has significant benefits to improving your enjoyment.
Building Up Stamina
Edging is a great technique for building up your stamina for partnered sex. Many sex therapists recommend it as a way to assist in reducing the risk of premature ejaculation. The ability to be aware of how close you are to orgasm, and to take steps to prevent that climax are key parts of increasing your ability to go for longer, both by yourself and with a partner.
- Start-Stop Technique
The start-stop technique is as simple as it sounds. When you feel the edge approaching you simply stop the stimulation. Remove your hand from your dick and let the intensity drop. The more you practice this technique the closer you’ll be able to take it. It’s a great one to increase awareness of your ‘point of no return’ but be prepared for a few misfires if that’s what your aim is.
- The Squeeze Method
An extension of the Start-Stop technique, this practice involves picking the point close to orgasm, stopping the stimulation and squeezing the head of the penis. Hold it for a few seconds, or longer, until you feel the feelings subside. Then resume your stroking.
I’ll admit, I hadn’t heard of this one until I started researching for the topic. It involves stopping at a point close to orgasm and doing kegel exercises, tensing and relaxing the muscle of the pelvic floor. You’ll see your penis deflate and reinflate as you do. It allows to a moment to reset and enjoy the view and feel of your erection with direct stimulation.
Get to the edge and move the hands somewhere else. Stop the direct contact with your penis and find another place on your body for a gentler touch. This is a great time to enjoy some other sensations and also learn a little about what kind of touch you might like from a partner. ….
- The Go Slow Method
Take your time. This one’s about slowing your stroke rate down. The challenge is to keep stroking but slowing your pace down to delay the orgasm. This is one that I’ve found has helped me most in partnered sex. I think it’s also a slightly more advanced technique as you need a good knowledge of your own turning point to avoid busting earlier than you want to.
A Word Of Wanking Warning
Is edging bad for you? No. But there are a couple of things to keep in mind when engaging in extended mastubatory activities. We don’t want any wanking injuries.
The first is chafing. A long time with a dry dick in hand can cause chafing. Admittedly the time before chafing is longer for our intact brethren but we all need to keep it in mind. Keep some lube hand if you feel like you need it.
The second is ‘death grip’. It’s a fairly extreme example but it can be caused be a too tight, too rigid or too extended grip on the penis during masturbation. It can cause erectile issues and issues in achieving orgasm. Not hugely likely if you’re being smart about it but something to keep in mind.
But edging itself is not a bad thing. In general, its a good addition to the repertoire that allows to you have more intense orgasms and more pleasurable wanking sessions.
One More Edging Tip
One big tip for those trying to become an expert edger. It’s very important to listen to your body. Recently I’ve spent too many sessions watching the clock and timing my orgasm accordingly. While we all want to get the most out of the time we have, those of us who don’t live alone especially, it’s important not to make duration the major factor.
There have been a number of instances where I have edged for a good amount of time and I’ve felt those whole body tingles that, lets be honest, are a bit part of why we edge. But, knowing that I had more time up my sleeve I’ve slowed down and tried to build to that point again. On many occasions that sensation hasn’t returned and I’ve instead released a good orgasm near the end of my time limit rather than an excellent orgasm with some time to spare. So that’s a personal tip from my experience to keep in mind.
Should I Try Edging?
In short, yes. In a longer response, absolutely yes.